Many of us already know components a healthy relationship – Things like Strong communicationTotal sincerity and unwavering obligation. But Most people don’t really know As these qualities look in practice.
As a result, doubles can be found in a Poor situation. Worse, they do not recognize it because of unhealthy habits such as emotional mitigation, suppression or normalization of problems. When you are stuck in acquaintance and routine, it is difficult to stop and assess your feelings.
As a A psychologist who studies pairsI often recommend a quick survey in pairs. If you find yourself answering all the questions, there is a chance you may be dissatisfied with your relationship, but you don’t understand.
1. Do you feel like you are in the same team during the conflict?
In relationships, the conflict is inevitable and necessary. But The way you fight Matters is more than what you are fighting. If it always feels like you are against the partner, instead of you, as opposed to the problem, it is worth evaluating why.
Research The resolution of the conflict shows that when both partners believe that she disagreeable is more soluble, they are more likely to find the way forward. But you cannot rely on optimism; You need a common and clear strategy. Otherwise, arguments can be converted into emotional duels and during time lead to distance and indigoration.
If your answer to this question is “No,” ask yourself: “What are we fighting for?” If the answer is not the very relationship, sit together to talk and re-ask what it really means to be a team.
2 Can you be the most wordful of yourself around your partner?
The The healthiest relationships Give you the space to breathe. To laugh out loudly, ugly cries, make a mess and be strange. Research Notes that people who feel safe in expressing in authentic, unrefined ways are more likely to be involved in healthier relationship behavior.
If you have to constantly remind yourself of the suppression of parts of your personality, you will slowly start to lose priceless parts of your identity.
If you replied here “no”, you have to stop and think. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t blink when they meet your most important, honest self. Excellent partners see it as a special privilege. It shouldn’t feel like something that must be “tolerant”.
3. Are they truly curious in your inner world?
In the early stages of implementation, curiosity comes of course. You want to know everything about each other – what they think, how they see the world, what makes them tick. But later, this curiosity can disappear.
Research It argues that curiosity is a basic means of emotional intimacy. If your partner stops asking questions about your thoughts, feelings or experiences, will never meet new versions of you who are born every and every day.
“No” to this question could suggest that your relationship starts on autopilot. The partner who really invested in you, continue to ask, continue to listen and continue learning about who you are.
4. Do they take responsibility when messing up?
Errors are not important as much as they are treated in consequences. Does your partner own their mistakes and try to correct things? Or avoid responsibility, be defensive and turn the blame on you?
Research The conflict repair teaches us that even the smallest gestures – acknowledging an error, offering honest apology or even use of humor – can stop the argument from the spiral. But when the responsibility is absent, you will eventually start an examination whether you can trust each other at all.
If your partner never trusts, or if consistently seems to feel like “hard” for concern, it may be time to regroup and review what you invest. Honesty, humility and true desire to better be a bilateral norm in a relationship.
Mark TraversDr, a psychologist is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. Holds degrees from Cornell University and University of Colorado Boulder. He is the main psychologist on Awake therapyA telephone company that provides network psychotherapy, counseling and training. It is also a curator of popular mental health and a wellness website, Therapy.org.
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